Two Unlikely Situations
by shelikestodanceinthedark
Summary: Marauders era. Lily Evans hated James Potter. James Potter knew he was in love with Lily Evans. Marlene Mckinnon thought she was in love with Sirius Black. Sirius Black didn't know how to be in love with anyone. Regulus Black loved pissing off his brother, but got unexpectedly caught up in the process. Sometimes love can be found in the strangest of places.
1. Something ending

**a/n:** Okay so I know not many people ship Regulus/Marlene, but I saw this video: watch?v=4IO5K4-Djxk&lc=asO7ZwDR3GNGN4PrCyMY-5ZW_jvJc6EOrGrJWc0nlRU and it really inspired me. I'm not sure where this is going, but I have a good feeling about it. Also, I love Jily, so I couldn't leave them out :)

* * *

Her feet pounded on the grass in a steady rhythm and her blonde hair, scraped back into a ponytail, bounced with each stride. Focusing on keeping her breathing steady, she fixed her gaze on the trees in the distance and increased her pace. She concentrated on the feel of the cold winter air on her skin and the sound of the wind rustling through the trees. She most definitely did not allow Sirius Black to creep into her mind.

"_You're a git!"_

"_I'm sorry, Mar – I was really drunk! I forgot that I was supposed to meet you!"_

"_Sirius, it's the fifth time IN A ROW that you have 'forgotten' to meet me"_

"_I swear I'll remember next time. It's James's fault anyway – he made me go out with him!"_

"_Oh well I apologise for getting angry with you, I forgot that James Potter is my boyfriend and that he said he would meet me last night – oh wait, he's not, YOU ARE"_

"_Mar-"_

"_I've been having a really bad week. I just wanted to talk to you. You know what? Forget it...I'll see you later"_

Marlene forced the memory of their oh-so-familiar argument out of her head. She had been in a relationship with Sirius for around six months now and it felt like they argued every other day. She really did believe that she loved him, and they definitely had an undeniable attraction, but they both had very fiery personalities which clashed more often than not and it was getting exhausting. She had stormed out of their recent encounter and decided to go for a run to clear her head, but if anything it was only making her dwell on the situation further. She sighed and came to a halt, resting her hands on her knees and recovering her breath.

"What are you doing out here, Mckinnon?" The voice, reaching her from a few metres away, belonged to Regulus Black.

Bloody great. This was just what she needed. Regulus had taken to addressing Marlene whenever possible, purely because he knew just how much it pissed Sirius off. Marlene was a big believer in judging someone's character for herself, so she hadn't listened to most of Sirius' spiel about what a foul twat his brother was, or at least she hadn't let it colour her opinion of him. She, being relatively perceptive, could see that all his attempts to irritate Sirius were just cries for attention, and he didn't seem all that bad a person, just an impressionable guy who got in with the wrong crowd. She would never admit this to Sirius, of course. And it didn't mean that Regulus didn't annoy her a lot of the time. But she didn't exactly share his brother's opinion that he was a 'pure evil piece of shit who would sooner go on a date with a kappa than be nice to anyone'.

"I really don't need this right now, Regulus. It's quite clear I'm out here for a run, hence the running gear that I am wearing, and I just got out of a fight with your git brother so I really don't want to be pissed off by two members of the Black family within half an hour. Please fuck off and bother someone else."

Regulus raised his eyebrows at Marlene's unexpectedly aggressive reaction – usually she passed off his attempts to talk to her with resigned irritation – but deigned not to follow her request and leave.

"Well that's no news to me. My brother's always been a git. Surprised it's taken you this long to figure it out"

"Ha ha, very funny. Now please get out of my way."

"Lovers' quarrel, was it?"

"None of your business, was it?"

"Now that doesn't make any sense. Really, Mckinnon, I thought you were intelligent enough to at least string a sentence together."

Marlene sighed and reached for her wand. She didn't really want to hex him, but she was so not in the mood for this right now, there were no teachers around, and she was pretty sure that it was the only way he would leave her alone. Just as she was mentally preparing which spell to use, however, an irritatingly familiar voice stopped her in her tracks.

"OI, BACK OFF MY GIRLFRIEND YOU PRICK"

Sirius, anger clearly etched across his features, was running down the hill, wand drawn, gaze locked on his brother. He had clearly decided to follow Marlene and, possibly, attempt to apologise, but had seen her speaking to his brother and flown into a rage. Marlene internally rolled her eyes. His quick temper was one of his fatal flaws. She watched him raise his wand to jinx/hex/disarm or whatever he was planning to do to his oh-so-hated brother. Regulus was quicker than him, however, and with a casual flick of his wand he disarmed Sirius.

"Problem, sibling?"

"We are in no way related. Now get the fuck away from my girlfriend"

Regulus rolled his eyes. "Calm down, we were just-" he began, but Marlene cut him off.

"There's no need" she said to Regulus, before turning to the latter Black. "Last time I checked I wasn't your possession, and I am perfectly within my right to talk to whoever I want."

"But I wasn't-"

"Besides, Regulus is making more effort to talk to me right now than you have done all week"

"But Remus has been-"

"I know, I know, don't for one second think that I'm begrudging you the fact that you've…been there for Remus for the past few days" She glanced quickly at Regulus, but seemed satisfied that he hadn't twigged what she meant. "And I know you have Quidditch to worry about, but you made a commitment to see me and you revoked it. Twice this week, three times last week, countless times in the weeks before."

Sirius shifted uncomfortably, not enjoying the fact that his brother was witness to this argument. Marlene took a deep breath and carried on:

"Maybe we should take a break, give each other some space." She hesitated, measuring her words carefully "Obviously this relationship isn't that important to you anymore" She fixed her gaze on him, tears welling up in her eyes which she quickly brushed away.

Sirius faltered for a second, thrown, but regained his composure, and anger, very quickly. To Marlene's complete surprise, he turned to Regulus.

"This is your fault. You always bloody ruin everything! If you hadn't spoken to her in the first place-"

Typical. Bloody typical. He wouldn't even take the blame. Marlene watched Sirius retrieve his wand from the ground as his brother stood, speechless, and she saw what was going to happen before it did. She cast a _protego _charm over Regulus and herself, deflecting the hex which was heading towards the former, and glared at Sirius.

"I suggest" she said, through gritted teeth "That you leave"

With a mixture of guilt and betrayal adorning his features, Sirius turned, without attempting to respond, and started back up the hill towards the castle. Marlene stood, too angry to move, and tried in vain to regain her composure.

"Uh, thanks-" Regulus began, but she held up a hand to silence him.

"Don't. Just don't."

"Should I go?" He asked carefully, not wanting to provoke the silently fuming girl next to him.

She nodded slowly, trying very hard not to allow the pent up emotion inside her to release. He turned and, with one last glance back at Marlene, proceeded at a brisk walk back up the path his brother had just vacated.

She sank down into the grass, and after a while became aware that she was crying.

"_Fuck"_

* * *

Sirius paced from one side of his dorm to the other, running his fingers repeatedly through his hair.

"I really messed up didn't I?"

James decided not to respond to the question, pretty sure that his friend already knew the answer. Sirius continued pacing.

"Prongs? Did I screw up? I mean, it's not like I never made an effort to see her….is it?"

Again, James was pretty sure that Sirius already knew the answer to his own question, but, knowing that the interrogation probably wouldn't stop until he said what they were both thinking, replied:

"Mate, you didn't exactly put the relationship at the top of your priorities list..."

"No" He agreed at length "I guess I didn't"

Sirius once again pushed his hair out of his face, sighed in resignation and sat down on his bed. He mentally ran through all the time he had spent with Marlene in the past few weeks and came to the uncomfortable realisation that he really hadn't spent much time with her at all. And, even worse than that, the only time he could remember spending with her had been spent arguing. Not exactly an ideal relationship. He did care about her, he really did, but he found it very difficult to commit to anything, especially to a relationship. He couldn't deny that Marlene was about the only girl in the school who he'd been willing to try to be monogamous with - they sort of clicked, they really understood each other, that is when they weren't trying to rip eachothers' heads off - but he just obviously hadn't been cut out for it. Remus would say that he wasn't emotionally mature enough, whatever that meant. He turned to face James again.

"I should apologise, shouldn't I?"

"To Regulus? Yeah, I think he definitely deserves an apology…" James assumed a mock-serious expression. Sirius threw a pillow at him.

"Shut up, git, I meant to Marlene. That prick wouldn't deserve an apology if I set an angry hippogriff on him"

"I don't know, mate, I'd give it a day or so…let her cool off. Last thing we want is you ending up in the hospital wing."

Sirius thought back to the furious expression which had passed across Marlene's face when he tried to hex Regulus and decided to take James's advice.

* * *

"Mar, I'm so sorry, Remus told me what happened" Lily looked at her friend as she entered the dorm with concern in her eyes, making a mental note to have a _strong _word with Sirius Black later.

"I'm fine" Marlene said breezily, picking up the copy of _Witch Weekly _that she had left on her bed and skimming through the pages.

"Mar-" Alice Gray, their 3rd dorm mate of 5, and Marlene's best friend, began, but Marlene shook her head.

"I said I'm fine" Her expression made it clear that she didn't want to discuss the subject, so Alice and Lily, after exchanging a look, decided to drop it.

"What's going on?" Their 4th dorm mate, Amelia Bones, entered the room.

"Nothing" Marlene said quickly. Lily raised her eyebrows at Amelia, communicating silently that she would fill her in later.

"Oh, okay. Have you heard about the Marauders' latest prank? Flooded the whole downstairs corridor and charmed it so they can't clear it up. Bloody irritating, my robes are soaking and-" she trailed off mid-sentence, noticing Lily shaking her head rapidly and gesturing towards Marlene.

"Did I miss something?" Dorcas Meadowes came out of the bathroom, where she had just finished doing her make-up, and surveyed the room, which had descended into an awkward silence. "Whatever, I don't have time for this, I have to go and meet Amos Diggory, we have a study date, if you know what I mean" She winked suggestively and flounced out of the room. The remaining three girls turned to look at Marlene, who was still pretending to be absorbed in Witch Weekly.

"Oh for Merlin's sake" she exclaimed, throwing the magazine on the floor, "I am fine! And if you are going to sit here and stare at me like a bunch of weirdos, then I have somewhere else to be. See you at dinner"

The blonde stood up and walked out of the room, flicking her long hair behind her as she went.

"Will someone please explain to me what's going on?" Amelia said, still incredibly confused.

"Sirius is a git, that's what's going on" Lily sighed.

"Oh no, did they break up?"

"Well, it was rather more messy than that. But that's the gist of it, yes" Lily replied, getting up "And I'm about to go and give him an earful"

"Lily, do you really think that's a-" Alice trailed off as the dormitory door swung shut behind the determined redhead.

* * *

Lily stormed down the corridor, fuming, and didn't notice James Potter heading towards her until he bumped right into her.

"Watch where you're – Oh, Evans, hi"

James reached up and ran a hand through his hair.

Since James and Lily had become Head Boy and Head Girl, they'd been forced to spend much more time with each other than Lily would have liked. She, on principle, had hated him for a good 5 years, but it had begun, after a while, to tire her out. She'd decided, at the beginning of the year, to give him a chance (platonically - there was still no way she would go out with him) and had slowly come to realise that there was a person underneath all the idiotic pranks and the air of over-confidence which he exuded. They had almost become friendly. Almost. This didn't change the fact that he was blocking her path to the boys' dormitories, and, by extension, her path to the object of her irritation.

"Get out of my way, Potter, so I can have a go at your other half"

"By 'other half' I assume you mean Sirius, and I am afraid I am going to have to prevent you from doing that."

"And why the hell would you get in the way of a raging woman, knowing full well that she is _very_ capable of hexing you?"

"Cmon, Lily, he feels bad enough already. Sirius does stupid shit without thinking 98% of the time, you should know that by now. But that doesn't mean he doesn't regret it afterwards"

Lily's anger abated slightly, but she still fixed James with her most aggressive gaze.

"Since when do you have any semblance of a moral compass?"

"I will have you know that I have a fully functional moral compass. I just choose to ignore it most of the time."

"Funny. Now get out of my way."

Lily attempted to shove past him, but he blocked her yet again.

"Look, it's not like I'm going to throttle him-"

James raised his eyebrows "Yes, you definitely are"

Lily groaned, but couldn't disagree.

"Look. He's planning on apologising when she's cooled off a bit, and I think we should both try and stay out of it…let them sort it out for themselves, you know?"

Lily was stunned for a second, taken aback by the maturity of his words.

"Who are you and what have you done with James Potter?"

"Oh, he's locked in a broom closet somewhere. And since I'm only a replica of James, not actually him, you can't turn me down when I ask you to help with my transfiguration homework"

Lily rolled her eyes "Potter. It's transfiguration, not a date. I'll help if I must."

"That's what _you _think." He winked at her "And yes, you must."

Something suddenly occurred to Lily "Hang on, you're really good at transfiguration, on what planet would you need help?"

"Darn, saw right through me"

Lily slapped him on the arm and turned to leave. She paused at the bottom of the stairs.

"Don't think I'll respect you any more because you've won this moral battle" she said over her shoulder.

"Oh, I wouldn't think that for a minute, Evans. Though I know it's secretly true."

Unable to come up with an appropriate response, Lily stuck her tongue out at him and went through the door to the girls' dormitories.

James watched her until the last glimpse of her read hair had disappeared behind the ancient oak door.

"I am in _way _too deep" he said to himself quietly, before returning to his dormitory to tell Sirius to be eternally grateful to him for saving him from a Lily Evans moral scathing.

* * *

Marlene wandered along the 3rd floor corridor, not really sure where she was going. She had determined that she absolutely would not think about what had just happened. It was turning out to be easier said than done. She really wasn't the sort of person to cry in public - that sort of practise was reserved for first years - but no matter how much she kept telling herself that she wasn't upset, she knew it was a lie. Although she wanted more than anything to murder Sirius at that present moment, she had a horrible feeling that the fact she had ended it didn't mean her feelings weren't still there, and they probably weren't going away any time soon. She sighed and sat on a bench outside her potions classroom, leaning her head back against the wall.

"Marlene?"

She raised her head and saw a pair of striking blue eyes and a mop of short, dark hair. Regulus Black. Great. Just the person she wanted to see. She forced a smile and met his eye.

"Hi, Regulus"

"So, you hexed my brother into oblivion yet?"

Marlene's forced smile faltered slightly. He registered the change in her expression.

"Too soon for jokes?"

"Well, considering it happened all of an hour ago, I'd be inclined to say yes, too soon."

"Sorry" He did sound genuinely sorry. Marlene suddenly felt bad.

"I didn't mean to take my irritation out on you. Everybody just keeps bloody asking me if I'm okay and I'm fine! I wish they'd leave me alone and let me get on with my Sirius Black-free life"

"Jeez, you make it sound like he's dead"

"I wish" she muttered under her breath, loud enough for Regulus to hear. He laughed.

"Well, I'd best go, said I'd meet Mulciber in the library." Marlene flinched at the reminder of the company Regulus kept. Mulciber was a foul psychopath who had repeatedly attempted to hex most of her muggleborn friends just for the fun of it. She had forgotten for a second that Regulus was in Slytherin. She should loathe him. Her friends would be shocked to see her talking to him in such a casual manner. Yet he had never done anything to make her loathe him, and, after all, she did believe in judging someone's character for herself. He certainly didn't_ behave_ like Mulciber.

He interrupted her traing of thought, adding "And it's probably best that Sirius doesn't see us together. He might have an aneurism."

"In that case, please stay" She clasped her hands together and mock-begged him not to go.

Regulus laughed "Nah, you were quick enough to block it last time, but I'm not sure I fancy my chances of dodging another hex. I think once is enough for today." He turned and jogged away down the corridor.

Strange, thought Marlene as she watched him leave, realising she was smiling. He was the only person so far who had made her feel remotely better about what had happened. That was certainly unexpected.

* * *

**a/n: **reviews would be greatly appreciated!


	2. Eat Slugs

Sirius Black walked into the library – unfamiliar territory for him – and scanned the room for the reason he was there. He located her in a corner, bent over the desk with her long blonde hair covering her face, clearly absorbed in some assignment that he probably (definitely) had yet to do. He took a deep breath and thought back to the conversation he had just had with his friends.

"_Prongs, I don't think I can do this"_

"_Shut up and get in there or I'll tell Filch who blew up his office the other day"_

"_You were there too, git"_

"_Yes, but he doesn't need to know that"_

"_Well thanks for the inspiring words of encouragement"_

"_You want words of encouragement? Grow some balls and stop being a pansy"_

_He turned to Remus and Peter, hoping for some slightly more constructive advice, but was met with pretty much the same reaction._

"_Sorry Padfoot, but I'm with Prongs. Think of it as like taking on a hippogriff. If you're careful and you don't say anything stupid, you'll be fine. If you're not, well…"_

_He winced. "Cheers, Moony" He looked at Peter "Anything to add?"_

"_Not really. Just…be careful, yeah?"_

"_Pete, I'm not actually taking on a hippogriff"_

"_I'd take the hippogriff over this" James muttered._

"_What was that, Prongs?" Sirius eyed him accusatively._

_James just laughed. "Get in there, you prat, we've been standing out here so long that I can feel some wrinkles coming on"_

He walked slowly over to the desk she was sitting at, trying to put off the unpleasant task he was faced with: apologising to Marlene. Mercifully she didn't look up until he sat down opposite her; otherwise he wasn't sure that he'd have been able to face the withering look which she'd have sent in his direction. The same withering look that she was now directing at him over her desk. He swallowed.

"What do you want?" The venom in her tone definitely wasn't lost on him, and he temporarily forgot the speech he'd prepared.

"I, er-"

"Spit it out, idiot. I haven't got all day. This is a very important assignment I'm working on"

He glanced down at the copy of Witch Weekly which she had concealed inside her Potions textbook and stifled a laugh. He didn't think she'd appreciate that, and he was supposed to tread carefully. _Hippogriff_, he reminded himself.

"What?" She said with a mixture of confusion and irritation in her tone.

Sirius silently chided himself for speaking his thoughts aloud. "Nothing. Look, Marlene-" He began, but he was abruptly cut off by a loud _SHHHH_ coming from the other side of the library. He ignored the glare he was receiving from the librarian and lowered his voice.

"I'm sorry – about the other day. I was an idiot. I am still an idiot, but I'm a very apologetic idiot. Can we try and move past this? I – I'm not saying we should get back together, but I don't like you being this mad at me"

She studied his face for a second. He really did seem to be sorry, and he had come here of his own accord, without the Marauders in tow, and delivered a decent – if not exactly inspiring – apology. She was sure that she wasn't ready to forgive him yet, but she'd had a couple of days to cool off and no longer wanted to murder him. That was a good sign, wasn't it?

"Sirius, I appreciate that you've come to apologise, but I need some more time, I think, before I can start to forgive you. Also-" She paused, entirely sure that he wasn't going to like what she was about to say "I don't think I'm the only person you should apologise to"

"You can't be serious" His expression was incredulous. Did she seriously think that he would even _consider _apologising to his absolute twat of an ex-sibling? Who the hell did she think she was?

"Sirius, I understand that you have a…complicated relationship with your brother, and I'm not saying you should become best friends or anything, but it really wasn't his fault that we broke up – I think we both know it was yours – and he does still care about you. I can tell…I mean, the only reason he talks to me is because the only time you even acknowledge him is to tell him to stay away from me." Marlene stopped speaking; she was pretty sure that she had crossed a line.

Sirius had listened to her speech in a disbelieving silence. His fingers clenched around the edge of the desk and he dropped his voice to a low, angry hiss.

"Firstly, he is _not_ and _never will be_ my brother. Secondly, I wouldn't apologise to him if someone offered me all three of the deathly hallows for it. Thirdly, our relationship is _none of your business_. Oh and, with regards to whose fault it was that we broke up: did you ever stop to think that maybe the reason I didn't want to spend time with you was because I was bloody tired of you and your problems? All you do is whine! It's knackering! I'm surprised I stayed with you for 6 days, let alone 6 months!" Sirius was definitely sure that he had crossed a line with that comment, but he didn't care.

He got up to leave, and he was halfway out of the library when he realised that he shoes were stuck to the floor. Just as he was about to counter the curse which she'd inflicted on him from behind, a furious Marlene marched up to him and slapped him in the face.

"Don't you _ever _trivialise what happened to my sister as 'my problems' again. In fact, don't even worry about it because you won't have the opportunity to. STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME." She screamed the last part, causing the remainder of the students in the library who hadn't already done so to turn to watch the scene unfolding in the middle of the room. She pointed her wand at Sirius and muttered the incantation _eat slugs _before running through the library archway, leaving her ex-boyfriend to vomit slugs all over the hardwood floor.

* * *

"So" Said James, holding a bucket for Sirius – he really should win some sort of friendship award for this – to heave slugs into "I gather that went well"

"She told me" Sirius paused to vomit again "To apologise to" James winced as he spat yet another slug into the bucket "Regulus" James could see the anger still on his friend's pallid face. He raised his eyebrows.

"She really went there?"

Sirius nodded. It was too much effort for him to speak.

"Well what did you say to make her hex you then?"

Before Sirius could attempt to answer, Peter and Remus entered the room.

"Jesus Padfoot, even _I _didn't think it'd go _this_ badly" Remus fixed him with a half-sympathetic, half-judgmental expression.

"What did you do to make her hex you in the middle of the library?" Asked Peter, flinching as Sirius spat a particularly disgusting specimen into the bucket.

"Would anyone else care to hold the bucket, eh?" James asked hopefully, directing a pleading look at his two friends that weren't currently in the process of vomiting slugs. They shook their heads quickly and he sighed.

"Fine, but you two can sod off and get me some food from the kitchens then. I think I'm going to be here for a while, and I'm not sure Padfoot's up to explaining himself yet, so you may as well make yourselves useful"

Remus grimaced "How can you be hungry at a time like this?"

"I'm always hungry. Now get me some food, or have you changed your mind about holding the bucket?"

Remus shook his head in disgust as he and Peter left the infirmary and headed towards their shortcut to the kitchens.

* * *

Marlene ran down corridor after corridor until she reached a disused classroom which was, mercifully, empty. Once she was certain that there was no one around, she began to cry, trying desperately not to allow the memory which Sirius had so callously reminded her of to come to the surface. It was far too painful.

"_Marly, look, I can do magic"_

"_Celia, put daddy's wand down NOW"_

"_But look, look, I did a spell"_

"_Celia-"_

Suddenly Marlene heard voices outside the classroom. She tensed up and wiped her eyes quickly, hoping that they would pass by without bothering her. They lingered just outside the door. Great, she thought. Why was it that she could never get a moment alone?

"I think this one's free, Nicolai"

"Make sure no one's around, we don't want anyone overhearing"

Marlene looked up to see Regulus poking his head round the doorway. He widened his eyes when he saw the state the blonde was in, then pressed a finger to his lips.

"There are a couple of first years in there" Regulus addressed Nicolai Mulciber, who raised his eyebrows in response.

"I'm sure I can…persuade them to leave"

"Er, actually, could we do this later? I just remembered I have to go and talk to Professor Slughorn about hexing that second year this morning"

"You hexed a second year? Impressive, I didn't know you had it in you. Well, I suppose we can postpone the meeting until this evening. I'll tell the others"

Regulus waited until Mulciber had disappeared into the next corridor before he re-entered the classroom.

"Just so you know" he held up a hand before Marlene could speak "I didn't hex a second year. If I was going to hex anyone, I'd at least do it to someone my own size"

Marlene nodded slowly, pretty sure that her judgement of his character hadn't been _that _far off.

"Why did you do that?" She said at length.

"Do what?"

"Lie to him. I'm not some damsel in distress who needs you to be my shoulder to cry on. You could have left."

"Actually, I was just hoping you'd tell me all the gory details of what exactly you did to my brother this morning" He said with amusement in his voice.

Marlene groaned. "I'm not exactly proud of it, you know"

"You should be. Eat slugs, was it?"

She nodded, fighting a smile.

"Tell me, what exactly did he say to warrant such a punishment? I'm not saying that he didn't deserve it, but I would've thought if you were going to hex him, you'd have done it the other day"

_Marlene started across the room to wrench the wand from her sisters' hands, but she could already see that it was too late. Celia raised the wand and pointed it at the ceiling._

"_CELIA, NO-"_

_**BANG**_

_The walls crumbled around her and she quickly drew her own wand and cast a protego charm, causing the debris to fall at her feet without harming her. She searched desperately for her sister but couldn't find her in the rubble. Then, suddenly, horrifically, she saw the fingers of a tiny hand, still clutching her father's wand; the only part of her darling Celia that wasn't covered by the pile of bricks that had previously been her bedroom wall._

"_Oh god, no, no, this isn't happening, THIS ISN'T HAPPENING"_

Marlene shook her head dismissively "Oh, it was nothing…he just made some stupid comment about me being a slut"

Regulus raised his eyebrows.

"And what, may I ask, did you do to provoke _that_?"

"I…uh…asked him to apologise to you"

Regulus raised his eyebrows even higher.

"Well, that'd certainly do it." He said, barely concealing the surprise in his voice.

"Yeah" She replied, suddenly unable to think of anything to say.

"Why? You must've known it'd piss him off."

She hesitated "I guess I just…I know what it's like – to lose a sibling. I reckon, if you're lucky enough to have one, you shouldn't hex each other at every opportunity"

He was silent for a few seconds "Our relationship is a little more complicated than that, Marlene. Sirius has left our family-"

"I know, I know" She put her head in her hands "It was stupid. I don't know what I was thinking."

"I didn't say it was stupid. Just…unlikely."

Marlene looked up at him and smiled. "Now why couldn't he have reacted like that?"

"Because I am superior in every way?"

"Funny. Well you certainly haven't…called me a slut…" She flinched at the memory of the real reason she had hexed Sirius "…so I guess you're superior in that aspect"

"Mm…he definitely deserves to be throwing up slugs in the infirmary right now" He wasn't exactly sure why, but the fact that his brother had used such a word in reference to Marlene made him very, very angry. He shook himself. She was, for all intents and purposes, a blood traitor. He could talk to her, even be friendly to her, sure. But anything else – well, it would be frowned upon.

"I guess I should go and explain to my friends what happened" Marlene got up and smoothed her robes.

"Yeah, I'd bet they're a bit more than curious. I know I was."

Marlene started to leave the room, but turned back before she reached the door.

"You know, us being friendly is a really bad idea"

"Can only end in tears" He agreed.

She smiled to herself and left the room, silently dreading the questions which were about to be fired at her when she reached her dormitory.

* * *

"Feeling alright, mate?" James asked, once Sirius had (hopefully) thrown up his last slug.

"Oh, just brilliant thanks" Sirius spat into the bucket "Is it weird that I'm hungry?"

"Not at all, my friend. I was just thinking the same. There is the slight problem that I ate all the food that Peter and Remus brought us…"

"Dick"

"…So shall we go to lunch?"

"Merlin, has it been that long?"

"Mm, you've been chundering slugs for a fair few hours now my dear"

Sirius looked at the clock above James' head. Sure enough, it was now approaching one o'clock. No wonder he was hungry: he hadn't even stopped for breakfast before he went to the library.

"In that case I would be honoured to accompany you to lunch, Prongs"

"Shall we?" James offered up his arm. Sirius hesitated.

"What is it? Too gay for you?" James winked at him.

"Nah, everyone knows how deep and meaningful our relationship is. It's just…well, Marlene sort of screamed at me that I should stay away from her, and she'll probably be at lunch, so…"

"You've got to be kidding. Are you telling me you're going to avoid all meals for the rest of your time at this school because of a girl?"

Sirius bit back a comment about how James would do exactly the same if a certain redhead asked him to.

"What did you say to her anyway? You must have really pissed her off" James eyed his friend, slightly concerned that Sirius had said something really stupid.

His concern wasn't misplaced, as he found out after Sirius told him what had happened.

"Mate, that was too far. Calling her whiny was bad enough, but talking about her…'problems'? She was confiding in you, not offloading her issues. She was grieving."

"I know, I know, spare me the lecture. What I said was foul and I wish I could take it back. It's just – she made me really angry, and I know that's no excuse, but…well, you know I don't exactly think straight when I see red…"

James sighed. Sirius had really done it this time. He knew it was selfish, but he couldn't help but think that if Lily found out about this, she wouldn't want to associate with James at all, since he was connected to Sirius. That didn't really bear thinking about. He'd been making so much progress recently, and it looked like he was maybe even on track to become friends with Lily – he wasn't allowing himself to hope, though – and Sirius would have completely undone all that progress. Oh the qualms of having an idiot friend.

"You really are an idiot, Padfoot. Remind me why I'm friends with you again?"

"Because of my dashing good looks and unrivalled intelligence?"

"I was thinking more along the lines of me being the only one who can keep you in line"

"Where were you in the library then?"

"I can't babysit you all the time, prat"

"Just most of it" Sirius grinned. He did appreciate having James as a friend, though he wouldn't say it to his face (that would sound really gay). Even when he did the most stupid thing he'd ever done in his short life, back in 5th year, James had found a way to forgive him. Only someone like James would stick around with someone as reckless as Sirius.

"Come on, idiot, I'll protect widdle Padfoot if she tries to hex you again. I'm too hungry not to go to lunch"

They left the infirmary, informing a relieved Miss Pomfrey on the way out that she wouldn't have to bear witness to Sirius 'affliction' any longer. She advised the boys to stay out of trouble and try not to get hexed again. They exchanged a look, then promised they'd try.

"Not likely" Laughed James as soon as the infirmary doors had shut behind him.

"Actually, while we're on the subject of staying out of trouble...I have been itching to redecorate Filch's office recently…it's far too neat for my liking" Sirius said with a mischievous look in his eye.

James hesitated. He really shouldn't, since he wore the ball and chain of being Head Boy. And it would really piss Lily off (if she found out). But he could see that Sirius needed to take his mind off the situation, and what was he if not a good friend? Plus, Filch had been almost insufferable recently.

"Funny, I'd been thinking the same thing…I guess we could swing by on the way to the Great Hall, wouldn't be much of a detour…"

"Race you?"

The two boys took off down the corridor, robes flying behind them. If Lily Evans had seen them, she would've rolled her eyes.

* * *

As it was, Lily Evans was preoccupied.

"Marlene Anthea Mckinnon, you will tell me exactly what happened this morning or so help me-" Lily briefly stopped talking to locate the piece of chicken which had flown off her fork as she had waved it in the direction of her friend. Alice took the opportunity which Lily's pause gave her to cut in.

"What Lily means is, we want to know exactly what happened so we can figure out whether we need to spread any rumours that Sirius is gay"

"I don't know if that's necessary" Contributed Dorcas between sips of pumpkin juice "I've seen some of the intense, sexually charged looks he shares with Remus..."

Lily shot her a look "Dor, not the time" She snapped, before transferring her gaze to Marlene, who was staring intently at her plate.

Unfazed, Dorcas turned her attention back to her pumpkin juice, deciding that her input probably wouldn't be helpful.

Marlene sighed. Her friends were, understandably, curious. She hadn't found them in the dormitory after her brief encounter with Regulus, so had decided to come down to the Great Hall for a quiet lunch. This wasn't what she had expected. She guessed that they probably deserved an explanation, though. Just as she was about to launch into the thrilling (if slightly edited - she didn't really want to tell her friends exactly what Sirius had said to her. For one, they would completely ostracise the Maurauders - at least Lily would - and it also would spark an uncomfortable and emotional conversation which she really didn't want to have right now) tale of what had transpired in the Library, Amelia came to sit at the table.

"Hey, has anyone seen Salem? I can't find him anywhere"

That girl really had impeccable timing.

"Salem's a stupid name for a cat"

"Yes, Dor, I know, you've told me loads of times. But my question wasn't 'do you think my cat's name is stupid?', it was 'have you seen my cat?'"

"No, I haven't seen your cat, and if you ask me-"

Alice turned to Marlene "Have you looked at the prophet today? Five more muggle families have been murdered. It's so sad - they probably didn't even know what was happening until-"

"WILL EVERYBODY PLEASE SHUT UP" Lily placed a hand over her mouth when she realised just how loud she'd been - most of the Gryffindor table had turned to look at her. She could feel her cheeks turning their usual shade of red, and they grew redder still - with irritation, not embarrassment - when she noticed that James Potter, seated not too far away, was eyeing her with an amused expression.

"Marlene" She continued, once the remainder of her house had resumed their respective conversations "Was just about to tell us what happened in the library this morning, weren't you, Marl?"

Marlene raised her eyebrows at Lily's less-than-subtle silencing of her friends, but told the story anyway.

"So you're saying that he called you a...slut?" Marlene nodded. Lily made to get up from the table "I'm going to murder him-"

Alice, ever the peace-maker, could see that Marlene didn't want anyone else to get involved, so she stepped in before her friend could say anything, knowing that if she didn't intervene it would probably end in a clash of personalities between Lily and Marlene. They were both so stubborn.

"No, Lily, you're not. I think vomiting slugs in the hospital wing for a few hours is punishment enough, don't you agree?"

Lily did not agree, but she - annoyingly - remembered what James Potter had said about them staying out of their friends' business. Damn it, since when did she take advice from James bloody Potter?

"Fine. I guess it isn't my business." She said, with considerable difficulty. Both Alice and Marlene (Dorcas and Amelia were still in a debate about the location of the latter's pet) stared at their auburn friend, gobsmacked. It was rare that Lily admitted defeat, and even rarer when it involved the Marauders, or defending one of her friends. This situation encompassed both, yet she had seemed to concede.

"Are you feeling alright?" Marlene asked, placing her hand on Lily's head and pretending to check her temperature.

"I'm fine. I just-" She glanced at James, who was in deep conversation with Remus while Sirius sat next to them, looking sheepish "-I had some good advice from someone, and I decided to take it"

"Well whoever it was, I take my hat of to them. It's rare that the great Lily Evans takes advice from anybody"

"Hey!" Lily protested, flicking mashed potato off her fork and across the table, aiming for Alice.

James Potter, quite sure that she wasn't looking, stole a glance at Lily Evans while Remus and Sirius were engaged in a moral debate about Sirius' actions that morning, and Peter sat, absorbed in the Daily Prophet, clearly preoccupied by what he was reading. He took in her auburn hair, which she was in the process of brushing out of her face as she talked animatedly to her friends, her green eyes, lit up with mock-irritation as she flicked mashed potato at Alic, and her smile - Lily's sunny disposition and ever-present optimism all concentrated into one, perfect smile -

"Prongs, what's your opinion on the matter?" Remus asked, clearly losing the battle of wits with Sirius and desperate for back up.

"Save it, Moony - he's too busy staring at Lily" Peter smiled and waved his newspaper in front of James' face.

"Sorry, what were you talking about?" James decided at that moment that he really, really needed to do something about this _problem _he had. It was starting to become unhealthy.


End file.
